How to Declutter your Thought Wardrobe

How to Declutter your Thought Wardrobe

One of the most transformational things I’ve ever encountered in my life has been The Work of Byron Katie.

Struggling to find peace in my marriage, I turned to my friend and coach, Corrina-Gordon Barnes.

Corrina is a super talented and intuitive coach and facilitator of The Work. She was once described by NY Times Bestselling author, Tony Robbins, as a “passionate and articulate agent for change” (though she doesn’t talk about this – she’s humble like that!).

If you have any thoughts that don’t feel good, that feel like an old frumpy dress, a baggy pair of pants or an 80’s power suit that doesn’t fit… read on!

Cuddly toy cat holding up cuddly cow in the Dirty Dancing 'Lift'

Podcast interview with Corrina Gordon-Barnes – The Work of Byron Katie

In this free podcast interview, you’ll discover:

– What is The Work of Byron Katie and why can it be totally transformational?

– How Corrina used The Work to re-gain peace and happiness after some extremely challenging life events

And I’ll be doing The Work live with Corrina on a triggering situation with my ex-husband!

So tune in and listen below!

Important: Later in the podcast, Corrina uses the sh*% word in our discussion (our apologies if you find that offensive in any way), so if you have children around, you may like to listen through headphones.

Practising The Work didn’t save my marriage, but it did save the love beneath it.

And doing The Work combined with other practices, such as HeartMath, coaching, relationship work and dance meditation, I was able to explore what I deeply wanted, for me and my ex-husband and my kids…

I wanted us to be happy. I wanted what was in everyone’s highest good.

And now, down the line… both my ex-husband and I are in long-term relationships and we feel super happy where we are… and we’re genuinely pleased for each other too!

Our kids love our partners and our family does not feel like a broken one. It feels like an extended one.

I have friends in similar situations, where their families extend, where children may not be anchored in one home, but they are anchored in love from the adults in their lives.

Life isn’t perfect! Ha ha – I’m still doing The Work.

But I can honestly say, right now, life it’s beautiful beyond my imagination.

I hope you enjoyed the podcast! 

You can find out more about Corrina at www.corrinagordonbarnes.com ❤️

Love Emma x

And here’s the video mentioned in the podcast… 

Parent playing with her child lifting him into the air
Mother and child hugging showing positive parenting and conscious relationships

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How a ‘Sensory Box’ can help adults and kids

How a ‘Sensory Box’ can help adults and kids

Has anyone ever suggested you ‘calm down’ when you’re angry?

But it’s really hard. You’ve tried ‘just breathe’, but your body chemistry is still in Hulk mode.

We tell our kids to ‘calm down’ too, but they find it just as hard.

Here we’ll look at a practical tool to help us and our children get back into our senses during those high pressure moments.

The Magic of a ‘Sensory Box’

Do you remember those squeezy stress balls that were all the rage in the late 80’s?

This follows the same principle, except we’ll use more senses. These boxes help us and our children genuinely calm down (rather than quietly fume in the corner!).

 

Because when we’re in stress ‘fight, flight or freeze’ mode, our body shuts down the brain areas we need to think, plan, calm ourselves and come up with solutions.

Our body doesn’t want us to be logical, flexible or empathetic when we’re fighting that sabre tooth tiger (in order to survive, it didn’t serve us to care about those cute little cubs back at tiger HQ).

These boxes help to fully re-awaken and develop our brains and our children’s brains. They help us get into our senses and the present moment.

(And it’s really hard to be angry when you’re blowing bubbles.)

What you’ll need

Don’t worry about it looking pretty. Grab any old box or a bit of Tupperware. You can do it now!

A small Tupperware box works beautifully for a travel box that you can keep in your bag (this is helpful if you’re out with kids at the supermarket and then he starts stamping on lettuces (happened).

 

You can have this ready for yourself when you know you might be in a stressful situation (visiting that in-law perhaps).

Or ready for that playdate for your child when it might get a bit much.

Here are a few suggestions to get you started:

For kids:

  • Bubbles*
  • Squeezy toys or play dough
  • Toys that light up (including mini-torches)
  • Toys that spin
  • Pencil crayons and paper (he might show how frustrated he is through scribbles, dots or scrunching up the paper, because he struggles to say it in words)

*Don’t have bubbles? You can use washing up liquid and water with a straw, or even a washed dandelion stem (we were amazed by the giant bubble coming out the end of the stalk, which instantly calmed both of us!).

You can also use:

  • Funny items (e.g. silly glasses)
  • A small model to put together, like Lego
  • Fiddle toys (e.g. fiddle cubes)
  • Jacob’s ladder
  • CD or toy that plays music that your child loves
  • Chew toys (you can even get special chewable necklaces)
  • Favourite smell (e.g. essential oil or a parent’s perfume on a piece of cloth)

 

(Photo above: fidget cube – If your child is fidgety, at home or at school, this is something that can help (along with wobble cushions to sit on, which acts a bit like a mini pilates ball!).

Now I’ll be honest I bought a fidget cube for my son and he never used it, but other people swear by them! Each side has something different to fiddle with. )

Just a few items will do, say, up to six.

It helps if your child can choose what they’d like to put in their sensory box. 

Because we’re all different and she might have a good instinct for what would calm her. Plus choosing items makes it much more likely that he’ll use it when he’s feeling angry.

It might take some experimentation to see what works.

We had to remove some squeezy toys from our box because they seemed to up the aggression, rather than working to calm.

For added sensory effect, you can even have a calming den with a sensory box and other items. Lots of schools are putting these in place for children rather than having time out spots.

Good for Adults

My son decorated a box for me with a space theme (he knows I’m an uber geek).

My box has saved me on a number of occasions. Inside I have:

– Homemade cards and cute pictures of my kids (you can have photos of any loved ones to remind yourself of the love in the relationship) to remind me of their love when another part of them has taken over!

– A piece of fabric with my favourite essential oil (for me, Rose Geranium)

– Written meditations or supportive prompts (I once wrote myself a meditation, put it in my box and it really did calm me down deeply, taking me through the process of calming down.)

You can also put inside:

– CD/ music that calms you (or notes on songs/ a playlist you can put on YouTube or Spotify)

– Paper or something like a mindfulness colouring book and pencils (either to write down your thoughts or draw)

– A classic stress ball, or any kid of ball to throw and catch (juggling has actually been shown to re-wire the brain and be extremely calming! It can really bring people into the present moment)

– Bubbles (these help adults breathe too – it is so hard to feel stressed when you’re blowing bubbles!)

– Or pictures of fluffy kittens – see you can’t help but smile, right?

Or pop in something that someone made for you or gave you (a child, friend, partner) that makes you feel all gooey.

Anything to change your body chemistry.

Just a few items will do.

Bubbles are top on my list because they help me to focus on breathing without realising it, and those bubbles floating around are calming, or giggle-inducing if we grown ups try to catch them.

And because our basic fight or flight brain never remembers how to calm down, I have prompt cards.

If you have a child, you might find they start bringing your box to you too – hoorah! (Because it’s hard to remember to go to our box in the moment when our brain is in shut down!).

You can also use my free Peace Tree meditation whenever you feel stressed (this has really helped me to get out of some dark and overwhelmed moments!).

 

Mother and child hugging showing positive parenting and conscious relationships

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From one-on-one coaching to free workshops and housework dance parties, find our more about how you can be supported.

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